America, it’s land of choices, yes? Freedom to be me, freedom to be you. Mcdonald’s, Burger King on same block. You choose one, both. Shit maybe we go to Wendy’s instead
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upgraders:

my friend did a psychology class in high school and came to my house and diagnosed my cat with depression 

john-egbertholdt:

DOES ANYONE THINK THAT OCTOBER HAS A CERTAIN SMELL AND YOU JUST CANT EXPLAIN IT BUT YOU JUST KNOW THE SCENT OF OCTOBER AND IT GETS SO STRONG ON HALLOWEEN

I PROBABLY SOUND INSANE BUT I CANT POSSIBLY BE THE ONLY ONE

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

its-like-being-at-home:

petcanadian:

spawkward:

petcanadian:

spawkward:

what’s a pirates favorite letter?

if it’s rrrrrrr i’m going to kill you

you may think its r… but his true love be the C

i fucking hate this website

image

This might win the ‘literally a gif for everything’ trend

transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

hermionejg:

221cbakerstreet:

justdunsparcethings:

REMEMBER THAT PART IN THE ODYSSEY WHEN ODYSEUS TOLD POLYTHEMUS THE CYCLOPS HIS NAME WAS NOBODY AND THEN HE STABBED HIM IN THE EYE WITH A GIANT STICK AND HE STARTED SCREAMING AND THE OTHER CYCLOPS YELLED FROM THEIR CAVES AND ASKED WHAT WAS GOING ON AND POLYTHEMUS SAID THAT NOBODY HAS HURT HIM AND THEY WERE LIKE WELL THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP

golden comedy

But for real.

un-spooky:

… I guess it was a killer joke, eh Tony? :D

[x]

ryanestradadotcom:

Learn To Read Russian in 15 Minutes! I did this one with my fabulous guest writer Peter Starr Northrop, aka bilgeathresh! If you want me to make these dang comics more often, visit my Patreon!

—  quentin tarantino as quentin tarantino in a quentin tarantino movie

stilezs:

this is so real